Why Do I Rant?

(Original post: June 22, 2010)

Due to lots of hateful messages and several thinly veiled death threats in response to the mini-Twilight rant, I think it’s about time I wrote this. A rant about why I rant. Oh boy. xD

Believe it or not, I’m not just a stuck-up jerk who just enjoys putting other people down. I can be, sometimes (if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a personalized rant, trust me, you know it), but that’s not what I’m trying to accomplish with this ranting thing. I’m not trying to present myself as being important, or get attention, or just tick people off for the heck of it. So please, put the torches and pitchforks down, people.

Simply put, I enjoy writing. However, I can’t write fiction. I have a fanfiction account, but I’ve never used it. Functionally, I’m an okay fiction writer, but I have the creativity of a tree stump. I eventually gave up on that idea altogether. So, in 2006, I came across wikiHow, and started writing there. Seems I’m pretty good at how-to articles… I’m an admin on the site now, and I have some ridiculous number of contributions that I’m too lazy to look up. However, I went through a long period of writers’ block on wH last year, and since then, I’ve never really been able to get back into things. As a result, I took my writing to facebook.

I realize that absolutely nobody cares about my personal life, and I really don’t want to plaster it all over facebook anyway. So, be glad you’re not getting daily updates on who I’m dating, what I had for dinner last night, and the camping trip I just got home from. If you ask me, that’s the kind of writing that’s annoying, self-centered, and makes people sound stuck-up. It also starts drama among people, which is annoying. My rants start more drama among ideas… if you turn it into drama among people (as in me vs. you, instead of anti-twilight vs. twitards), then you’re the one with the ego problems here.

Now, I realize I could write about things I like instead of things I hate, but I don’t, for several reasons.

1. I’m an outspoken pessimist and skeptic. However, I don’t just hate and distrust everything for the heck of it. I call this being careful. I am capable of enjoying things and being optimistic about some things, but I look at the situation carefully first. I’m not the type to fling myself into a high school relationship with a view that everything is going to be perfect and the person I’m dating is the next best thing to Jesus. I’d rather look at the sky and assume it’s going to rain and not take my chances than tell myself it’ll clear up and end up stranded on the other side of the subdivision in the rain with 800 dollars worth of camera equipment and no cell phone. I’d rather not have a cell phone than spend ridiculous amounts of money paying bills for one and replacing it every two months as I break it.
2. I think differently than a lot of other people my age. I don’t think this makes me “better” than them (though it does occasionally give me a better grip on reality), but I like being different. I don’t like cell phones, or video games, or the idea of being in “love” at the age of 15, and I really don’t care who knows it. Just like you don’t care if everyone knows that you do love cell phones, video games, and your boyfriend of two days.
3. Do you actually care about things I like? Sure, I could write about how much I love photography or horses or the clarinet or something, but nobody would care. Plus I’d sound stupid, self-obsessed, and annoying.
4. Everything good is good because something else is bad (at least in the eyes of the person having the opinion). Okay, suppose I did write about how great the clarinet is. At least indirectly, that would involve putting down all the other instruments, and I’d still get craploads of hate mail from other band people calling me dumb because “obviously”, the trombone is soooo much better. Also, goodness is relative. The Brick is amazing because my point-and-shoot is such a piece of crap. However, Stephanie’s even cheaper, lamer, uglier, crappier point-and-shoot makes mine look awesome. If I got a Canon 5D Mark II, I’d ditch the Rebel XS in an instant. So, no matter what approach I took to writing, I’d be putting something else down.
5. It’s so much easier to get worked up over something you don’t like. Writing is somewhat therapeutic for me, and part of the reason it’s so satisfying is that it’s fun to rip the crap out of something you don’t like, as opposed to writing some lame monologue about how non-sucky something is. I could write maybe a paragraph or two about my concert clarinet, but I could write pages and pages about all the things I don’t like about my marching horn. And when you get right down to it, you’d prolly rather read the latter.

First off, I do not just hate things because everyone else likes them. I hate them because I have sat down and thought about what I think of them, and I have decided I don’t like them. I have more informed reasons for hating things than you do for liking them, most likely.

You don’t have to agree with me. In fact, I don’t expect you to agree with me. Like I said, I have a very different view on most things, and I’m simply voicing my opinion in response to yours. The only difference is that you post yours in small doses (in statuses and such), and I post mine in one big epic rant. If you disagree with me and you think it’s because I’m truly uninformed, then let me know, civilly. I may profess to hate country music in general, but you introduce me to one country artist that isn’t so bad. There are exceptions to everything, and I’m open to exploring them. However, if you tell me to “retract all those mean things you said about Justin Bieber, or die”, I’ll choose dying. At least then I won’t have to go to the grave knowing I complimented Justin Bieber (and before you try, I have tried to find a decent Bieber song, and I’ve failed).

Also, you are in no way required to read anything I post, just as you are not required to agree with it. If you’re a camera-abusing, pop music and twilight loving, hopeless romantic and my rants always make you want to punch me, then don’t read them. I do post them on the internet because I think it’s interesting to get feedback (as opposed to writing all the time and never sharing it), but they’re really not that up in your face.

Now, I will admit that I have a problem with being unnecessarily negative. Yes, my overuse of words like “stupid”, “retarded”, “moronic”, “pathetic” and “idiotic” to describe the things I rant about is uncalled for at times. However, I write like I talk, and I write what pops into my head without too much after-the-fact editing. In addition, I’m not writing for a newspaper or something. I’m not required to be polite or politically correct, and I don’t try to be. What you read is pretty much exactly what I think, minus a few swear words, perhaps. Keep in mind, though, I’m not usually calling the people those things, just the ideas. I have friends who like Twilight. I have friends who think they’re in “love”, and they annoy me sometimes, but in general, they’re okay people. I have lots of friends who should be banned from using picnik. This doesn’t make them bad people, though. We just disagree about some things

Plus, it depends how you define “bad”. I generally don’t befriend a lot of people whose views on everything are totally opposite mine, but that doesn’t mean I think they’re terrorists, or that I want them to die horrible, painful deaths. I just avoid talking to them and don’t mind making fun of their pathet–er, misguided crushes on Jacob what’s-his-face from Twilight on occasion.

And I never target specific people. Never have I started a rant with “And I’m writing this because so-and-so is an idiot”. Now, I may indirectly mention people sometimes, but it’s just unavoidable. I have to get my inspiration from somewhere, and if everyone happens to figure out who inspired me, then maybe that person needs to tone it down a bit. I will never, ever use names, and I do my best to be discreet when I reference individuals.

So, in conclusion… if you agree with me, good for you. If you oppose me, then feel free to being it to my attention if you so desire, politely. However, the death threats are not necessary. If you’re really so obsessed with Edward Cullen that you’d kill for him, maybe you could use a psychological evaluation and a nice straitjacket… but please don’t take it out on me. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Finally Put Together a Blog

By popular demand, all my rants will now be posted here in addition to facebook. Hopefully this will protect them from being further damaged by facebook’s technical issues, since some of the text was messed up when they were last restored and I’ll probably have to rewrite some bits and pieces when I move them to this site. In addition, maybe I’ll get lucky and it’ll get me the attention I need to supposedly become famous and write a book. Who knows?

I’m not so much creating a blog as I’m re-using an old one… I tried blogging before once upon a time, and royally sucked at it, but for some reason, I never deleted this one. If you see anything that looks like it’s left over from another era that I missed cleaning up, please let me know.

So, facebook friends, enjoy re-reading all your favorite monologues about how your peers constantly humiliate themselves in public without even realizing it. New readers, if any actually do stumble upon this, I hope you enjoy as well, and at least you can take comfort in the fact that I’m probably not talking about you specifically.