Attention, Twitards

(Original post: June 22, 2010)

Here we go, the long-awaited Twilight rant. Bring on the hate mail.

Well, since Stephen Lash provided me with the idea for this, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I could write a short novel about how much Twilight sucks, how much I hate it, how bad a writer Stephenie Meyer is, and how much I despise twitards. But nobody would read that. So, I realized I could sum up all my thoughts about Twilight (and the idiots who obsess over it) in two sentences. They are as follows:

Edward and Jacob are not real. They will never marry you, you will never have their children, and they really don’t care whose side you’re on, because they are not real.

There you have it, my shortest rant ever. Discuss.