You kids and your pointless facebook campaigns…

A post I came across on someone else’s blog (warning: language) got me thinking about this. While, thankfully, none of those stupid facebook campaigns are going on right now, that I know of, they really do annoy the crap out of me. I also think I can do a better job of explaining why they’re stupid with significantly fewer f-bombs.

If you’re not familiar with what a “facebook campaign” is because you just blindly follow them without knowing what they’re called, a facebook campaign is when some idiot decides that everyone should post cryptic statuses or change their profile pictures or re-post a status to supposedly help further/raise awareness of some cause. Recent examples include people changing their profile pictures to Caylee Anthony after her mother got acquitted, girls posting random colors as their statuses, and the most recent “[however many] inches ” status. Because posting suggestive crap as your status is totally going to raise awareness of…

Breast cancer. Yes, breast cancer.

Since you probably all gasped in shock and want me to burn in a hole for disrespecting the memory of all the victims of breast cancer, let me explain. I know and know of lots of people who’ve died from, are still fighting, or have survived breast cancer. It’s a horrible disease, and especially since the statistics say an awful lot of us are going to end up with it if they don’t find a cure soon, I sure as heck hope they do. I mean your (and my) relatives, friends, teachers, etc. no disrespect with this note. I also don’t support Casey Anthony’s acquittal or child predators using facebook or anything else that has had a campaign devoted to it. Put down the pitchforks.

When women were posting their bra colors, the location of their purses (preceded by “I like it”), and the lengths of their feet in the name of breast cancer, did a single cent go to breast cancer research? No. The dumb statuses didn’t come with a “donate” button. Did it really raise awareness? No, because most people had no idea what was going on. And, honestly, is there anyone in civilized America who hasn’t heard of breast cancer and already decided if they’re going to be concerned or not? No. You’re all wasting your time.

Then there’s the thing with Caylee Anthony. Though that one did make a little more sense than the breast cancer crap, since the goal was to torment the people that let Casey go free by making them see her daughter’s picture everywhere, did that really accomplish anything? Probably not, unless all the people that did it are facebook friends with the jurors. (And don’t even get me started on the porch light thing…)

I also vaguely remember a motion to change your profile picture to a cartoon character because of child predators or something. If I remember correctly, it was to make it harder for them to figure out who was a kid, or something like that. You’re stupid. If you want to have a nostalgia attack, that’s fine with me, but I seriously doubt it protected any kids from predators. There was also a separate instance of this where people were supposed to be raising awareness of child abuse. Because some parent is definitely going to see that someone’s profile picture is the Rugrats and think “Wow, I should really tell Mike to stop beating his kids.”

To be blunt, facebook campaigns only exist for lazy people to feel like they’re making a difference in the world. If you’re concerned about breast cancer, make a donation to the national breast cancer site to help further research. If you’re concerned about child abuse, donate to any of the various organizations that are helping abused children. If you’re concerned about pedophiles on the internet, delete your 9 year old’s facebook that you foolishly let him create. And if you’re concerned about Casey Anthony being acquitted, you have every right to be, but shut up about it and feel secure in the knowledge that she’ll get what she deserves eventually.

Until then, stop cluttering up my news feed. Thank you, and have a nice rest of your day. Also, for those interested, my underwear is blue, my foot is about 8 inches long, my purse is on my dresser, and my favorite childhood cartoon was the Fairly Oddparents.

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